The word “drama” conjures up all kinds of images: fights with your teen, a workplace conflict, exaggerated disappointment, worry about finances, upset over an unwanted situation and stress-producing illness.  The way I define drama is this: Drama is any obstacle to your peace or prosperity. With that definition it’s easy to see that drama manifests in many ways but the result is always “an obstacle to peace or prosperity.”

One obstacle to peace and prosperity is addictions. All of us are addicted to something. The most common addictions are to drugs, alcohol and food. Other addictions can include addiction to the computer, pornography, work-a-holism, and gambling to name a few.

Sue Bates, President and co-founder of International Eating Disorders Institute says one way to identify an addiction is to ask this question, "Does it cause problems in your life? For you or your loved one?"

One of my favorite authors, Eckhart Tolle says addictions are unconscious. We have to become aware of them before we can dissolve the addiction.   Most people are in a state of denial about their addictions

It wasn’t that long ago I realized I had an addiction to the computer. I was spending long hours on the computer doing research, answering e-mails, logging into facebook, and visiting social networks. Since I also use the computer for Internet marketing, writing and even for getting new clients my excuse was that I was “working.”

I thought my family members were just not supportive of my “work,” when they kept telling me I needed a break.  I suspected it might be an addiction when I tried to take a couple of days off from the computer. It seemed like I couldn’t go an hour without checking e-mail. I was in the habit of intermittently using the computer at night just in case I got an idea for an article or decided to send a quick e-mail.

It didn’t dawn on me that my obsession with the computer was keeping me from some of the things I really value. My computer habit had become my master instead of my servant.

Here’s a way to see if you have an addiction.

1. List the top three things you really want.
2. Now look at what is taking up your time.
3. Look at what is taking up your money.
4. Look at what you tell yourself about your habit.

What ever is taking your time and your money is probably your addiction. Once you have identified what is taking up your time and /or your money, now try to take a day away from it.

Let’s use an example of shopping as an addiction. Let’s say the three things you really want are a peaceful marriage, authentic communication, and to take private dance lessons.

How do you know if your shopping is an addiction?
How much time do you spend shopping? Do you go every day? Do you go every week?
Do you have no idea? Would you hate to admit it? Probably an addiction.

How much money do you spend weekly, monthly, or yearly?
Don’t know? Afraid to look? Angry that I brought it up?  It’s probably an addiction.

What do you tell yourself about your shopping?
After all, a girl has to look good. Do you say, “It’s important to be in style when you have the kind of career I have.” Are you constantly thinking you have nothing to wear, or are you always redecorating the house? Hmmm. Wonder if it’s an addictive thought pattern keeping you stuck?

OK…here’s the challenge: Don’t shop for a week.  Does that sound impossible? Do you tell yourself that you wouldn’t shop so much if your spouse paid more attention to you?

What if you didn’t shop for a whole year?

Put the money you would spend in a savings account. Is that uncomfortable?  What kind of time and what kind of money would you have if you didn’t shop excessively?

Now, what were those three things you said you really want, a peaceful marriage, authentic communication and the time and money to take private dance lessons?

Do you realize you are always fighting with your husband about your spending?

Do you realize that hiding your credit card statements from him is not helping you to have the authentic communication you want?  Did it dawn on you that the time and money you spend on new clothes could be a year’s worth of private dance lessons?

It’s easy to spot a drug addict, an alcohol addict, or someone with a gambling problem.  Perhaps the most dangerous addictions are the ones that are socially acceptable. People will compliment your style and fashion sense if you are a shopaholic. People will call you a hard worker if you spend too much time in the office. People will say you are a health nut if you spend all your time in the gym. 

There are three questions to ask:
1. Are others constantly complaining about one of my habits?
2. Has my habit become an obstacle to my peace and prosperity?
3.  Is my habit a discipline or an addiction? If your habit is your servant, it is your discipline. If your habit is your master it is an addiction.

Marlene Chism is the founder of Stop Your Drama Methodology an 8-part process to help business owners, and solopreneurs reinvent their lives and business.  Marlene combines universal principles with sound business practices to help people remove the obstacles keeping them from success. Marlene is the author of Success is a Given and is a regular keynote and breakout speaker at corporate and association meetings.
Visit www.stopyourdrama.com for more information